Taking Stock: My Semester Abroad

I spent one semester, one autumn, and one hundred twenty-one days in Europe during which I completed six courses for thirteen hours of credit.

When I moved in to my twenty-four square meter studio, I bought one fork, one spoon, one knife, one bowl, and one mug. I “requisitioned” several more from the trash.

During my stay, I visited twenty-five cities in eleven countries, accumulated thirty-eight postcards, and sent none of them.

In addition, I personally snapped one thousand, five hundred twenty pictures. At least half of them are garbage.

To get around, I took seventeen flights covering sixteen thousand, one hundred twenty-seven miles, none of which qualified for my frequent flyer program.

I also boarded over sixty different trains going to various cities, airports, and bus stations, only five of which were of the high-speed sort, and I missed five others.

Between planes and trains, I rode eighteen buses.

Border control stamped my passport fifteen times; all but four stamps are boring, EU rectangles.

I read only three books, and I never got a hair cut.

In lieu of reading, I watched four movies one time each, listened to twenty-six episodes of PTI, downloaded five weekly airings of CPR’s This American Life from iTunes, and posted sixty-nine blog entries.

I had a lot of free time.

My mom sent, and I duly consumed, two jars of peanut butter, one jar of jelly, five boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (The Cheesiest), one box of Club crackers, one tube of original Pringles, and two bags of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish (Cheddar).

My diet was supplemented by over seventy waffles and a sampling of roughly sixty different types of beer shared with students from twenty-two different countries on four continents.

I drank two bottles of Hungarian wine I bought for friends back home. Sorry.

But I worked out a little, too. In twenty-nine short-sided soccer games, I scored one goal.

A total of five people came to visit me on two occasions over two different weeks. I spent one fantastic week with my parents.

At the end of my stay, I waited through two canceled flights and booked eight separate reservations on three different airlines before I could find a flight home for the holidays.

I cannot count the memories.

Six Bucks and My Right Nut Says We're Not Landing in Chicago

Yes, I was supposed to be in Chicago by now. No, I never made it. But two canceled flights and eight different reservations later, I think I've found a way back home tomorrow. At least I'm not stuck in Wichita.

Random Thoughts While Studying for Law School Exams

Remember Spacely's Sprokets? I probably wouldn't want to work there - Spacely was a dick - but I bet he paid pretty well. They always did better than Cogswell Cogs.

Six Steps for an A? Or Seven?

Two exams down, three to go. I had my second oral exam today. This time it lasted about 15 minutes. If my grades transferred back to U of I, I'd be annoyed with the administration of these exams. There's just no way a ten or fifteen minute conversation can accurately reflect an entire semester's worth of nuanced analysis and synthesis, especially when most of the questions start with "what do you think of..." or "how do you feel about... ." If all you want is my opinion, then I'm going to stop studying altogether. I take pride in my bullshitting skills, and if bullshit is all you want, I'll be happy to oblige. As it is, my grades don't transfer, so it doesn't matter. All I have to do is pass, and pass I did.

Speaking of grades, I can't resist linking to this. It won't be funny to non-law students and/or normal people, but I find it hilarious. I can't even tell you how many conversations I had with fellow 1L's my first year about grading and how it's done. And we definitely had long debates over whether the "bottom-up" approach is superior to the "top-down" approach.

In case you're curious, I'm personally a fan of the bottom-up approach, as the thickest and longest exams should fall to the bottom. While many dismiss long-winded exams as nothing more than mere vomit-on-a-page, I disagree. All exams are garbage, and verbal diarrhea is clearly better than no shit at all.

Regardless, it's good to see another professor injecting a little life and humor into the legal academy. While the venerable BW&V may think otherwise, there are at least some things funny about law school.

Revolutie / Revolution

The NY Times ran a story today about a fake broadcast aired last night in Belgium and claiming that Flanders had declared its independence from Wallonia. I thought you might find it interesting. I don't have time right now to expound on the issue, but perhaps later I'll throw in my own commentary. For now, take a look. It can be found here (free registration may be required).

Bear in mind, I live just north of the dividing line between Dutch (or Flemish) speaking Flanders and Francophone (French speaking) Wallonia. Since I'm in Flanders, I've been exposed to much of the tension between the two regions and the separatist sentiment of many in the north of the country. It's one thing to read about it; it's entire different to be living right on the front line!

Examination Nation

Lest you get angry at the sparsity of posts in the upcoming days, I thought I'd list my schedule for the next week.

Friday: 10 page Law & Anthropology response paper, Information Technology Law Exam
Monday: European Economic Law Exam
Tuesday: Law & Anthropology Exam
Wednesday: The Court of Justice and the Emerging Common Law of Europe Exam
Thursday: Home, assearly in the morning

My exam on Monday will be the most difficult, Wednesday the most interesting. Monday is purely written while Friday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are either partly or entirely oral. I already had my Church and State in Europe exam on Tuesday. It was oral and lasted 10 minutes. And I will write my last exam, International Human Rights, in January and then fax it back to Leuven.

Sometimes I wonder why I love law school so much...

All I Want for Christmas

Speaking of lists, here's a modest review of what you should all get me for x-mas:

1. The Complete New Yorker on DVD-ROM or hard drive for hours and hours of endless procrastination material;
2. A 2007 even half as awesome as 2006;
3. Super Powers;
4. The Chicago Manual of Style, hard bound, for reference when I write the Great American Novel;
6. Common Sense;
7. Really. Good. Red. Wine.;
8. Starbucks Gift Cards;
9. A seat at the 2007 World Series of Poker Main Event;
10. Entourage Season 2 on DVD;
11. Spoils;
12. Movie rights to Litvinenko's story;
13. Books and DVD's that don't suck;
14. Common Sense;
15. World Domination;
16. Midget Porn;
17. Mob Ties.

Lists and Lasts

I returned this afternoon from the last trip of my Trip, and what a phenomenal trip it was; Rome is spectacular. The ruins. The history. The faith. The food. The wine. THE WINE. The scooters. The people. The history. The ruins. It must be good to be an Italian these days, except for the whole being short thing. My travels, for now, shall pause.

This is my last week in Leuven: my last lecture; last lunchtime waffle; train ride; soccer game; trip to the laundromat and grocery store; dinnertime waffle; breakfast waffle; snacktime waffle. You get it.

Lately, I've been making a lot of lists: Christmas lists; to-do lists; lists of things I'll miss and those I won't; lists of places I've been and yet to go; books to read, movies to watch, music to hear, food to eat. I think when I get bored from studying I'll post some of my lists.

Traveling Part (I lost count)

As you all know by now, I will be in Rome until Tuesday morning. While it doesn't look like the weather will cooperate, I'm still looking forward to the Colosseum, Vatican, Saint Peter's, Spanish Steps, Villa Borghese, etc. Today's a national holiday in Italy, and I'm not sure how it will affect tourism. If every thing's closed, I'll be more than happy to just eat and drink all day long. I can think of worse trips.

On the down side, I return to Leuven around noon on Tuesday only to drop my bags, pick up my notes, and run to my Church and State exam at 4:30. Good thing it's pass/fail. Wish me luck, and enjoy your respective weekends!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

As I mentioned earlier, I recently spent one last evening in Brussels. They're hardcore about their decorations here. It's way more festive than cities back in the States. In addition to the requisite tree in the Grand Place, the city also set up a nativity scene replete with live sheep. It's weird to see such blatant endorsement of Christianity in public displays. That kind of thing would never happen in Chicago. I'm a bit ambivalent toward nativity scenes myself, but it was still kinda cool. They also had several streets blocked off for a Christmas market and all the other standard accoutrements of the holiday season: Salvation Army musicians with red buckets, wreaths on lamp posts, hot chocolate, etc.

The best part came after dark with a music and light show in the Grand Place. Several multi-colored spot lights were choreographed together with ambient remixes of traditional Christmas songs. With the Hotel de Ville and the other gilded buildings as a backdrop, the effect was awesome. It was the best light show I can remember. Later in the night, a Belgian singer held a concert on the square and sang a bunch of Christmas carols. Given how much fun I had, I might go back just one last time before I leave.

Got Nino?

Despite the rain, wind, and cold, I'm not bitter or angry anymore, mostly because I'll be in Rome this weekend. Somehow, I'll also be on plane back to Chicago two weeks from today. Since I have no motivation to study, I've spent my day catching up on past episodes of PTI podcasts and trolling the web for anything new or different. In my virtual travels, I finally found a recording of the joint Federalist Society/American Constitution Society symposium on constitutional interpretation. The event featured a rather lengthy (and rare) discussion between Justice Breyer and Justice Scalia.

For those that don't know, the Federalist Society is group of conservative legal practitioners, students, and professors, while the ACS is it's liberal counterpart. While Justice Scalia gets a bit more face time in the press than Breyer for his sometimes abrasive, conservative commentary, they're both brilliant and manage to succinctly describe their opposing theories of constitutional interpretation. It's good stuff.

I don't expect any of you to watch it, but I think you should. The American public should know more about the Court so they can understand its primary function and role in government. Without this knowledge, we're left to the devices of mass media that reports only the outcome and not the substance of big cases. The video is long - nearly ninety minutes - but you don't have to watch it all. If you even catch the first ten minutes, you'll learn some good stuff. I've watched it twice. The video can be found here.

Enjoy. Or don't. Just thought perhaps one of you might be bored enough to check it out.

Blame TV for Your Fat, Drunk 11-Year-Old's STD

With exams around the corner (my first is a week from today), I have much less time to post. For the next three weeks, blogging will be lighter than usual. Since studying all day isn't my favorite thing to do, there's a good chance I'm a bit more testy than usual. So when I caught this article on CNN.com the other day, I about tossed my laptop out the window. I'll share my favorite parts along with a little commentary of my own.


"Inappropriate advertising contributes to many kids' ills, from obesity to anorexia, to drinking booze and having sex too soon, and Congress should crack down on it, the American Academy of Pediatrics says."

Bullshit, but whatever. I wanna know how television can cause both anorexia AND obesity? And what's the problem with anorexia anyway?

"Advertising examples cited in the statement include TV commercials for sugary breakfast cereals and ... ads for Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs shown during televised sports games"

I'm pretty sure kids aged 2-6 aren't the NFL's target audience, but explain to me how ED drug advertisements affect children. First off, a five year old can't even pronounce "erectile dysfunction", let alone figure out what it is. Second, those commercials don't ever advocate promiscuity among young people. Have you even seen a young person in a Viagra commercial? And third, I'm pretty sure kids do the opposite of what their parents do anyway.

"These pervasive ads influence kids to demand poor food choices, and to think drinking is cool, sex is a recreational activity and anorexia is fashionable, the academy says."

Drinking, recreational sex, and anorexia ARE cool and fashionable. So really these ads are just educational. You don't really wanna lie to your kids, do you?

"In response, the academy says doctors should ask Congress and federal agencies to:

• ban junk-food ads during shows geared toward young children;

It's definitely your kids' fault for eating junk food and not your fault for buying it for them.

• limit commercial advertising to no more than 6 minutes per hour, a decrease of 50 percent;

Interesting concept. I'm all for less commercials. That way, kids can watch even more of their favorite G.I Joe or Power Ranger or whatever the hell they watch these days brutally shoot, kill, maim, and generally beat the shit out of other cartoon characters.

• restrict alcohol ads to showing only the product, not cartoon characters or
attractive young women

Yes. It all comes down to attractive young women - those little devils with great bodies and short skirts. If only they had watched all these vile advertisements when they were younger, they'd be obese, too, and we wouldn't have this problem.


ENOUGH! Now you've crossed the line. Blame anything else for all that's wrong with you. Hell, blame me. But don't blame attractive young women. They're the only material objects that are any good in this sad, superficial world.

I grew up on G.I. Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Tom and Jerry, and all the other sweet shows that existed before everything got pussified into Barney. And I turned out okay for the most part. I rarely get the urge to impale Shredder with a dagger or two anymore (Raphael was cool, but rude!). Plus, without G.I. Joe, I wouldn't know so much valuable shit (and knowing is half the battle). Like, for years I cut up the rings on plastic six-pack holders so little fishes wouldn't get their stinky heads stuck in them and die. Hell, my parents threw law darts and shot rifles when they were kids.

So my question is this: how is it possible that we shelter and censor more and more each year and yet we manage to find more and more wrong with America's youth? How many more things are we going to find to blame before someone steps up and starts telling YOU it's YOUR fault your kid is fat, drunk, and diseased by age 11? It's more than a little ironic that parents are supposed to teach children how to take responsibility for their actions yet can't do so themselves. It's hypocritical and grossly irresponsible.

Geeez... okay I'm done ranting now. Just leave me alone with my cool beer and fashionable anorexic chick.

As You Like It

I thought green tea was supposed to make you feel better. I wanted to feel really good, so I drank eleven cups of it in two hours. Now I don't feel so good at all.

The Most Wonderful Time

Alright. So I got drunk, stayed out too late, and missed my train to Paris. Way to go me.

Despite my little miscue this morning, things are lookin’ up. Waffles are great for hangovers, and Leuven just hung a bunch more Christmas lights. But best of all, it’s a snow day in Chicago. Schools are closed, plows are out. I seriously can’t wait to throw snowballs at my dogs. It’s been mild here way too long. I want feet of the fluffy white stuff, and I want it NOW! While I'm waiting, I’ll sip my mulled cider and cue the Christmas music. Good enough.

Home.

[UPDATE: My Dad took a picture of our house sans snow-blow and sent it to me yesterday. Love it. Miss it. And it's much better than the winter picture I originally posted here.]