OK, but WHY?

So now that I've convinced most of you that I'm serious about this trip, the inevitable follow-up is "WHY?!?" I'm not sure I have a satisfactory answer for you, but I'll take a shot.

First and foremost, clearly, I wanted to impress women. Unfortunately, this plan has already backfired. Just two weeks ago, I was out to dinner on a first date of sorts with a girl we'll call 'Amelia.' When she asked about my post-bar exam plans, I was careful to build the suspense with a long-winded explanation of my desire for excitement and adventure (a novelty for me, because I've NEVER given a long-winded explanation of anything). Then, just as Amelia's anticipation reached a crescendo, I dropped the Kilimanjaro bomb. The exchange went something like this:

Me: Seriously I can't even tell you how stoked I am. It's gonna be a crazy adventure.
Amelia: Alright. I get it. Just tell me already what you're doing.
Me: OK, ready?
Amelia: (looking over menu nonchalantly) I guess.
Me: I'm climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.
Amelia: (finally looks up from menu)
Awkward 10 second silence
Me: So?
Amelia: (slowly rolls her eyes) Whatever it only takes like six days to climb and a grandma could do it. Hmm, these portobello mushrooms look good. Maybe I'll get a salad, too.

True story. Just my luck, it turns out I was talking to the only girl in all of central Illinois who had already looked into climbing the damn thing herself. So that's the last time I try to impress Amelia or any other women with my Tanzanian adventure.

But luckily, as with everything I do, I have several other reasons. Chief among them are the following two.

First, for about a year now I've had an obsession with East Africa. It all started with a copy of Isak Denisen's Out of Africa that I read in springtime '06. For those unread (or who haven't seen the movie) , it's the memoir of a Danish woman who moved to Kenya and ran a coffee plantation in the early 20th century. Few stories have better captured my imagination. To wit, I spent a significant portion of the following summer daydreaming of a life at the foot of the Ngong hills. Now, less than two years later, I'll actually get to find out what it's like. True, Kilimanjaro is several hundred kilometers south of Ms. Denisen's plantation, but it's close enough to do the trick for me.

Now, my second main reason for going is a bit of a downer. The truth of the matter is that Earth is heating up, and in the process we're losing many of our finest treasures. Only seventy years ago, Earnest Hemingway published a quasi-autobiographical short story The Snows of Kilimanjaro. Thirty years from now, his title may be no longer self-explanatory. Kilimanjaro's 11,000-year-old ice cap is melting away at a freakish rate.

Kilimanjaro's ice cap in 1993 (above), and seven years later in 2000 (below).

It's sad, but the ice cap will be gone very soon. For stories and the websites from which these photos came, see here and here. As a traveler, I want to experience as much as possible before it's too late. Ergo, I'm running off to climb Kili.

Sadly, I have a lengthy list of destinations I want to see before they disappear. Among them are Antarctica (melting), Venice (sinking), Greenland (melting), New Orleans (oh, wait...), and the Amazon (being chopped down). I have to start somewhere, so the snows of Mount Kilimanjaro seem like a good place. My kids won't have the privilege to see what I can, but perhaps a few pictures and a personal story can bring the place back to life, much like old photos and stories from my parents' past do for me. But even if I'm unsuccessful in this admittedly lofty endeavor, at the very least I'd like to experience the same majesty and power of Kilimanjaro that led eleven millennia of local Masai tribesmen to name the mountain the "House of God."

True Story

So apparently I need to clarify. Yes, I am in fact going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Literally.

Perhaps a little explanation will help. For those of you who don't know, post-bar exam trips are quite commonplace for those among us who've sold our souls and best years of our young lives to giant law firms and the clients who pay them. It works like this. I'll spend May through July preparing for and then taking (up the ass) the Illinois bar exam. Thereafter, I have approximately two months to travel before I start work. It is, quite simply, my last, best chance to do something crazy before I buckle down for a couple years (in theory). It's kinda like the summer before law school but with money.

Many of my friends are doing some pretty cool things. For instance, three guys are riding the Trans-Siberian Railway from Moscow to Vladivostok (with extensions from St. Petersburg and to Hong Kong). Others are going to India, the Middle East, and New Zealand, while most everyone else is will spend their remaining days of freedom in Europe. And two girls (two of my personal heroines) spent five months this year past trekking through Eastern Europe, Southeast Asia, and South America after their bar exam. And to boot, their adventures aren't even over. One's at a legal aid clinic in Argentina while the other is stationed in London.

Anyway, I'd been struggling to come up with a trip that was suitably exciting and worthy of my bar trip rite of passage. I just spent several months in Europe, so I didn't much want to go back right away, and I also wasn't having much luck finding friends with whom to travel. I needed something big. Something crazy. Something unique. And something about which I could get genuinely excited. As much as I love Europe, it doesn't stir my blood quite like it used to. After all, weekend trips to Paris are possible. Weekend trips to the far corners of Earth are not.

For some time, I was thinking Bali or Fiji or some other tropical paradise. Then, I got an email through my university's alumni association advertising a climb up Kilimanjaro. I usually discard association emails without much thought, but this one obviously caught my eye. To be honest, it took no more than two minutes before I decided to go. Nonetheless, I still had to research the idea and iron out a few kinks before committing. There are several operators that run treks up the mountain, so I had find the right one. Lots of Googling and a few phone calls later, and now I'm all booked up.

Of course, I'm not just trekking Kilimanjaro. I've currently committed to the climb (six days, from September 2-9) and a week-long safari thereafter (September 9-16) that includes trips to Serengeti National Park, Ngorongoro National Park, and Olduvai Gorge. For extensions, I'm looking into a few days on the beaches of Zanzibar, as well as a three or four day excursion to track chimpanzees through either Gombe Stream NP or Mahale NP. Other ideas I've kicked around (emphasis on 'kicked') include Victoria Falls, the Greek Islands, Cairo, and South Africa. Any thoughts? Suggestions would be *greatly* appreciated.

But that's the short long of it. With a new adventure comes new blog fodder. With luck, you'll see some pretty cool pictures of Africa right here around the first of October.

Climbing Kilimanjaro

My apartment is on the third floor on my building (which still feels like it should be called the second floor). Sometimes I get winded walking up the stairs. It's about 30 feet.

In September, I will climb Mount Kilimanjaro. It's about 19,340 feet, so I kinda have my work cut out for me.

Yes, I will climb to the top of this. Don't laugh.

A reasonable person might be inclined to ask such questions as "why are you doing this?" and "are you a masochist?" or "when did you grow such a giant pair of balls?"

I don't really have a good reason other than "just because." I get bored easily, so I just think this will be a good way to fill my time. It's not really any different than if I took up solitaire or knitting.

Also, I'm not really a masochist, I'm just naive. The operator and head guide that will lead our little trek said the final push to the summit was the hardest, most painful eight hours of his life. His wife said the same, and yes, she's given birth. But they're not invincible like I am. They're at least seven years older.

And as far as growing giant balls goes, who are you kidding? It's me we're talking about here. If I actually knew what I was getting myself into, I'd be signing up for that free knitting class at Joann Fabrics instead of a six day climb to the roof of Africa.

Overdose

I was walking through the law building at lunch today when a friend asked if I wanted some food left over from her student group meeting. They bought milk and cookies but no one showed up. I hadn't eaten lunch yet, so I thought I would help my friend out by eating her leftovers. I took a half gallon of milk and a large chocolate chip cookie, and then I finished them both.

Let me tell you, a half gallon of milk is not a good idea for lunch.

Go Cubs Go

My brother apparently doesn’t do much “work” at work these days. During March Madness, he somehow managed to throw together a bracket that won him a $1300 first-place office pool prize. He claims he only spent a couple hours of lunch researching. No one really believes him. Nonetheless, we were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. As my Dad always says, “Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.”

Yesterday, my brother sent me an email with some interesting stats he threw together on the Cubs’ outstanding early-season play. Again, he claims he didn’t spend much time on it. Apparently, the story goes, he listens to Cubs games on his lunch break, since 1:20 games start at 11:20 in California (where he lives). Because the Cubs were snowed out yesterday, he had a little extra time to kill and threw together his email. Of course, Cubs games last at least two hours. Those must be some pretty long lunches. It’s now blatantly clear there isn’t much “work” going on out in Irvine these days. From my brother:

Total Games: 8
Record: 3-5
Central Position: Tied for last with Houston who beat us twice
Runs Scored: 31
Runs Scored/Game: 3.875
Runs Allowed: 35
Runs Allowed/Game: 4.375
Cubs Salary Paid: $4,921,991.70
Dollars/Run Scored: $158,773.93

And because he’s our favorite middle-reliever, a special look at Bobby Howry.

Total Appearances: 4
Total Outs: 11
Hits Allowed: 5
Strike Outs: 3
Walks: 1
Wild Pitches: 1
Total Runs: 4
Earned Runs: 3
ERA: 7.36
Record: 0-2
Salary Paid: $222,222.22
Dollars/Out: $20,202.02

Speaking of the Cubs and interesting numbers, I recently came across some other facts worth sharing. We all know they haven’t won a World Series in 99 years. It’s common knowledge and given little thought. But, when put in context, their drought proves way more pathetic. For example:

- The Cubs last World Series title preceded: 1.) the Model T (by thirteen days); 2.) the construction and sinking of the Titanic (by four years); and 3.) the construction and explosion of The Hindenburg (by 29 years!).

- Just 28 years prior to their last World Series title, Thomas Edison received a patent for the light bulb.

- In the twenty years prior to their last title, the United States gained 8 states (North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Washington, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, and Oklahoma). Since the title, we’ve gained four more (New Mexico, Arizona, Alaska, and Hawaii).

And if the start of this season is any indication, we might be in for another 99 years.