One Month from Today

... and I'll be home for Christmas.

Traveling Part VI

...in Budapest 'til Monday.

I'm a little worried. I'd like try out the thermal baths, but if they're filled with old, pruney, junk-baring men, I'll pass, cultural experience or not.

I'm also looking forward to wine tasting in Eger, a two-hour day-trip from Budapest. The weather looks clear, so maybe we can catch a few solid hours of sunshine. My fingers are crossed. Enjoy your respective weekends!

The Nutty Professor

[EDIT: The original version of this post included my professor's name. After thinking twice, I have now replaced it with "Prof. A". Seems silly, but slowly my blog is starting to climb in relevance on Google searches, and I'd rather not have someone important stumble across a post and get me in trouble. Though my name never appears on this blog, a few clicks can easily unveil its creator.]

I’m enrolled in a course called Church and State in Europe. It’s something of a seminar meant to discuss contemporary legal issues that lie at the intersection between state and canon law. This is, without a doubt, my favorite class this semester for one simple reason: [Prof. A].

[Prof. A] is my professor, but he’s as much Belgian pop culture personality as academic. Talk about a renaissance man, this guy’s does it all. Between frequent appearances as a commentator on television and radio shows, he writes regular columns for De Standaard, one of the biggest newspapers in Belgium. This year he was a guest judge for the Miss Belgian Beauty 2006 competition. No joke!

In addition to his dabbles in Flemish pop culture, he’s taught in Belgium, Holland, France, and South Africa, but he’s called K.U. Leuven home for most of his academic career. Last year he ran (but unfortunately lost by a mere 20 votes) for University headmaster. Bear in mind K.U. Leuven is one of the most prestigious universities in Europe and is known for its outstanding faculties in law and canon law, to both of which [Prof. A] is connected. So basically he’s somehow managed to become a pop culture figure as well as a top-tier academic. Plus, he’s only like five feet tall.

But all that aside, it’s his jokes that make lecture so much fun. True, the subject matter is challenging and rigorous and all that stuff, but this guy’s a riot. Driest sense of humor ever. For example:

First off, he is always at least 20 minutes late (sometimes 30!), and he often ends lecture early after giving a solid 20 minute break in the middle (lecture is only scheduled for two hours to begin with).

Second, he prepared a reader for the course (which is taught entirely in English) filled with all his own, un-translated articles regardless of whether he wrote them in English, Flemish, or French.

Third, he scheduled our final, oral exam for a 15 minute slot (yes, the entire final exam is 15 minutes!) before the end of the last lecture and suggested that if we couldn’t make it he was just too busy to reschedule so he’d be happy to meet with us at the airport while he waits for a flight.

He refers to his lectures as his “classy performances” as in “I’ll have to end my classy performance a little early today.”

When I asked what we should read and prepare ahead of class: “Nothing. I don’t really know what I’m going to talk about, so there’s no use preparing for it. You can read if you want. (Referring to his classy performances…) This is all improv anyway.”

When asked what material we should present for the oral exam: “Whatever. Just make it interesting. I don’t want to be bored. Don’t come in and talk about religious freedom in Vatican City.”

Later, answering the same question: “You can prepare whatever you want. But you can’t just answer the question as it pertains to your home country. It’s no fun for me if you know more about it than I do.”

Speaking on a law meant to prevent people from wearing religious symbols: “This is meant to prevent headscarves. This is not meant to prevent little, tiny crosses… on necklaces… that little girls wear to school… underneath their dresses (with a creepy smile). Maybe if the crosses were as big as their heads then they would be banned, but I don't really know anything.”

Discussing a case in which the Italian High Court essentially refused to reverse a ruling of the Catholic Church despite the fact it was a severe violation of European human rights law: “Can you blame the justices? It’s only fundamental human rights at stake here. The defendant is the Holy Roman Catholic Church. Would you rule against the will of Jesus Christ?”

New Threads

As you can see, Semantic Chicanery got its very own Extreme Makeover. It's definitely a work in progress, so feel free to share your insights by either posting in the comments or emailing me. Cheers!

New Hard Drive, New Format, New Lover

I’ll spare you the details, but I’m up and running again thanks to a clutch (though bootlegged) copy of Windows and a Dutch version of Office provided by a friend of mine. I now have a new hard drive and a fully-operational laptop, so keep the emails coming!

Also, in case you need added incentive to check back and keep reading, I’ll be updating my blog’s format and structure in the next few days. Prepare to have your mind blown.

And while I have your attention, I would just like to tell all of you that I am truly, madly, deeply in love.

My lover is everything a man could ever ask for: she picks me up when I’m down, get’s my blood flowing like nothing else (get your mind outta the gutter I didn’t mean it like that), sharpens my mind, always puts me in a good mood, and is always there when I need her. When she’s not around, I can hardly function. I literally ache. My body feels disconnected. Only a strong dose of my lover picks me up again.

We actually have a long history together. I first got to know her in high school, but we kinda fell apart during my undergraduate years. My first year of law school found us reunited and closer than ever, and she’s been my best friend ever since. I think it’s about time in this relationship to tell the world how much she means to me. And so I proudly pronounce:

Dearest Caffeine, you complete me.

My Tested Patience

My Dell laptop has crashed. Again.

This time, I do not have the software to fix it. I'm trying to secure what I need from other exchange students. I have no idea when, or even if, I'll be able to solve the problem. Until then, blogging will be light, as typing on the French keyboards they have in the computer lab is a huge pain in the ass.

Sea Change and Cautious Optimism

I won’t hide my extreme satisfaction with last night’s election (various state ballot initiatives notwithstanding), but I am even more happy with the approach each party’s leadership has taken in the immediate hours after what Bush himself called a political “thumpin’”.

Pelosi announced a “First Hundred Hours” plan that addresses several issues, the Democratic position of which is relatively easy to define. True, harder problems like immigration, Medicare reform, Iraq, and stem cell research funding will require debate and compromise, but minimum wage increases, student loan support, and 9/11 Commission report implementation should be easy to push through. More important, however, is Pelosi’s tone toward the White House. It’s clear the new House majority has no desire to continue the political hacking and partisanship that can paralyze a divided government.

For his part, Bush’s tone also gives reason for optimism. Less than 24 hours after the election, he has already replaced Rumsfeld with a non-neocon, non-idealogue from Bush I’s days. More importantly, he did it against the advice of Cheney and Rove. Perhaps Bush is finally his own man? With a conciliatory tone, he also extended an olive branch to the new Democratic leadership and expressed his desire to work across the aisle on Iraq and immigration.

Look, I’m not entirely naïve here. I know at the end of the day we’re still dealing with Washington, and one night doesn’t change the fact that this country is still incredibly divided. But I think both Pelosi and Bush are taking a far more pragmatic approach to the upcoming two years. Let’s just hope this isn’t mere political puffery. Let’s hope it continues for 24 more months.

Finally, bear in mind what happened in 1994. Hate Clinton for his scandal if you want, but you can’t deny his policies worked. During his presidency, the country’s economy expanded at historically unparalleled rates, unemployment was down, trade was up, poverty rates were low, our budget deficit was turned to a surplus, and the world didn’t hate us. True, he didn’t get Osama and like almost everyone else (including Bush II) misjudged the threat of Al Qaeda (a mistake which he says he deeply regrets), but that may be his only major policy black mark. I mention this because in 1994, when the GOP took over Congress in a similar manner, Clinton was horribly unpopular and arguably ineffective to that point. All he achieved later in his presidency was done so on a bipartisan basis with a Republican controlled Congress. A divided government tightens the ship, keeps everyone on their toes, and provides a check on any one party’s political agenda. Perhaps our new government can find similar success.

And Tucker Carlson is still wearing a tie!

Krakow

How do you keep a Polak in suspense?

Krakow came and went awhile ago, but I’m only posting on it now. It was my first foray into a former Communist state. I imagined a heavy atmosphere still dripping with the effects of the now-thawed Cold War (smelted iron curtain?). In some ways, I was right – they’re still working on this whole “capitalism” thing – but in other ways I was pleasantly surprised.

After arriving on a Friday afternoon, we went out that night in Kazimierz, an ethnically Jewish quarter near the main Old Town center. The “night life” there, or its equivalent, was A LOT different from anything I’d seen before. Most every bar was a quiet, dim, candle-lit enclave. Everyone sat close in hushed conversation while classical or traditional Jewish music played overhead. There were probably 15 bars like this in the center of the neighborhood. It was kinda cool, actually, and maybe if I was there with a girlfriend it would have been great. As it was, I wasn’t, so it wasn’t the most exciting night of my trip. But it was also low-key and laid back and provided a nice closure to a travel day.

Saturday morning came, and our first stop was Wawel (pronounced “Vavel”) Castle. At this point, the layout of all these European cities should be clear – big castle somewhere near a big center square, usually with an old church somewhere nearby. Krakow is no different. The castle is impressive. Inside, there are ruins of older buildings at the foot of a massive cathedral and state rooms.

Wawel Castle

Inside Wawel Castle - ruins in the foreground, cathedral in the center

View of Krakow from Wawel Castle

For the hell of it, we strolled through the state rooms which are only about as interesting as they sound. Poland was once a super rich nation in Europe (who knew?), and at the time they built and fitted these apartments with all the finest meats and cheeses in ALL the land furniture and whatnot. Everything’s Italian, which is ironic I think, but ultimately not that interesting.

On to the main square and, shockingly, the requisite old church. The center is actually dominated by an old cloth hall which has now been converted to a large market for all things amber. Krakow (and the Baltic region generally) is the main source of amber in the world, and you can find all sorts of jewelry and other crap made from it. Personally, I don’t much care for it (tacky), so if you were hoping I bought you something, too bad.

Old cloth hall on the right, clock tower on the left

Next to the cloth hall is the clock tower you see on the left in the photo above. The 70 meter tall Town Hall Tower was originally constructed in the late 13th century. It currently leans 55 cm to one side due to a very strong wind in 1703.

For its part, the unremarkable exterior of the aforementioned old church (St. Mary’s Basilica, below) belies its ornate interior. This is not, however, Pope John Paul II’s old stomping grounds. We unfortunately didn’t make there. The Basilica is Poland’s most famous church and has been around for 1.8 million years I think. Every hour on the hour (even in the middle of the night), a trumpeter plays a truncated tune broken off mid-bar in remembrance of his 13th century counterpart who was shot in the throat while sounding an alarm to warn of a Mongol invasion. Rumor has it this guy sits around and watches TV for the other 59 minutes every hour. Great job.

St. Mary’s Basilica

Overall, the Old Town’s main square is both vibrant and beautiful. There are lots of cafes and shops and street performers, including a group of hilarious young break-dancers no older than 12 who plied and perfected their trade to the tune of their buddies’ crazy beat box skills. Awesome.

The second night we were there, we ditched the scene in Kazimierz for something more lively. After pregaming at the hostel bar with a bunch of Aussies, New Zealanders, and Irishmen, we all headed out to the bars. On our way, we came across a tiny, rusted-out, purple, Communist-era “car” that seriously looked almost exactly like the one below parked along the side of the road.

Not the actual car, but damn close to it

The obvious question all popped into our heads at the same time: how many Polaks does it take to lift and carry a Communist-era go-kart? (Trust me - you’d ask the same if you were wandering wasted through the streets of Old Krakow) Well, I can’t say exactly, but I can tell you that it takes three Aussies, an Irishman, and a Lithuanian to lift and rotate the car 90 degrees. Good fun. We all laughed and they went into another bar across the street while some new friends and I stood outside a little longer.

Trouble was, while we were still standing outside, the cops came by and accused us of moving the car. To make a long story short, it took about ten minutes and a clutch knowledge of French by Danielle, one of my new friends, to get us out of the situation. We quickly left the area and headed to a club called Prozac which was way too much fun.

Later that night we learned the cops pulled the other Aussies out of the bar and interrogated them for about twenty minutes outside. Eventually, they fined one guy 200 Zlotys (about $60), which he paid in cash, before letting everyone go. Crazy Aussies. Crazy times in Krakow.

So why do I say they’re still working on the whole “capitalism” thing? There aren’t too many specific instances I can tell you about, but it’s clear that some things are grossly over-priced, and many more things are just the opposite. Also, entrance to many sites such as Wawel Castle is free, despite the fact that a fee-based system would surely be successful given its popularity. In another case, two street vendors stood selling the same pretzels not more than 30 meters apart, yet one guy was charging twice what the other one was. And both were selling out!! Maybe the lower priced guy didn’t like money, or maybe the customers of the higher priced guy were feeling rather charitable that day. I don't even know. There were seriously no differences in product. How this happened is beyond me.

All in all, Krakow was fantastic, and like pretty much every other place I’ve been, I highly recommend it. It’s a great destination for someone looking to ease into Eastern Europe. As one of the “new Pragues”, it’s still very cheap and still has a “charming” touch of Communist influence, but it’s probably a bit more developed than some other places further to the south.

BREAKING NEWS

While I stream live coverage of the election (!) on msnbc.com, there are two CRAZY stories I have to post. You heard them here last:

First, Tucker Carlson is actually wearing a tie. Is this the apocolypse? No, no it's not. Because...

Britney Spears if finally getting divorced!! Poor, poor K-Fed. That's what you get for changing the "Ferrari" logo on the brake calipers of your 360 Modena to "Federline". What a douche.

Election Day!

First, I am finally back in Leuven after a fantastic week with my parents followed by a phenomenal trip to London. I think the past ten days have been my best here yet. More on that in subsequent posts, but first a few words on ELECTION DAY!

Yes, election day is one of my favorite days of the year (I don't wanna hear it... you're all nerds in your own way, too). Given the current climate, this year is even more exciting than elections of the recent past. Yet, at least for the Illinois governor's race, I feel a bit of creeping apathy toward my choice.

You see, Rod Blagojevich is a douche bag. And a corrupt one at that. I'm a Chicagoan. I don't expect my politicians to be honest and transparent. In my book, however, you can be either corrupt or a douche bag, but not both. Plus, Blago's corruption isn't of the Chicago machine sort. He was carried to Springfield on the back of the downstate vote. And of top of that, his hair really bothers me.

Unfortunately, Judy Baar Topinka is also a douche bag. I can't imagine how the Republican party couldn't find ONE person better than her to run. Talk about playing down to your opponent's ability. Maybe they thought they should try to match the Democrats douche for douche. I dunno.

So I've been pretty ambivalent about the race, assuming Blago would win, and hoping he wouldn't completely ruin the entire state during his next four years. But then J.Bar did something unforgivable. She ripped on the Cubs and then referred to Wrigley Field as "Cubs Park". What the f*ck?

Now, I know lots of women think it's unfair to call her a bitch because it's sexist and all that. Since I'm a nice guy, I won't. But she's definitely a whore. I mean, seriously... I won't rant on asininity of this genius political move, because I won't insult your intelligence. All I'll say is that no one rips on the Cubs and still gets my vote. I might vote for a douche bag (especially one that defends the Cubs), but I definitely won't vote for a whore. I have to have some standards here.

Anyway, I should be governor. I'm not joking. I totally could have won this race.